If you aren?t a football fan, you need to take your skirt off and grab a hold of your manhood. Don?t worry; there is still plenty of time to convert to our Sunday religion. I wasn?t always a fan, which is why I am confident that I can convince you to like football too.
1. Football is for partiers.
The NFL provides ?normal? guys like you and me with an outlet to scream, yell profanities, pig out, drink beer, and escape our nagging girlfriends ? and for a whole day! Apparently our society frowns upon drinking spirits before noon, or at least that?s what girlfriend tells me. But guess what guys? That rule is completely thrown out the window when watching football! In fact, morning drinking is encouraged on Sundays. The local sports bars usually have drink specials during games, which start at 10 am. If two beers for the price of one isn?t incentive, I don?t know what is.
2. Gimme some meat and potatoes!
Is Thanks giving one of your favorite holidays? I like food. Actually, I love food. Here is point I am trying to drive home ? Football is more than a game. Thanks to football, every Sunday is your Holiday. I gather with friends and family, pop open my tailgate, and we eat, drink, and be merry for hours. Everyone brings their own dish, so there?s always enough food to go around. It?s basically a big potluck. From Doritos to dips and steak tips to pork chops. We eat like kings.
3. Sport your colors.
Putting in long hours at the office? Ever feel like just screaming? Let out that testosterone in a constructive manner ? by screaming at professional athletes, referees and opposing fans. You get to throw on your jersey, and breathe in that mob mentality for a few hours. Heck, you can even paint your face if you want. Football allows guys to break out of social constraints and unleashes the primal warrior that?s lurking deep inside them. Ok, my description may be a little far fetched, but you get my point.
4. I suffer from emptywalletitis.
Running low on cash these days? It seems like everything cost money nowadays ? a lot of money. I went to the movies the other day and my popcorn cost more than a ticket! Enjoying football doesn?t have to cost you anything. Just head on over to your friend?s house, the one with the nice, new HDTV. Sometimes, after a long Saturday night, I prefer to enjoy the game from the comfort of a home rather than being surrounded by thousands of screaming fans.
Basically, football gives you a reason to live. It gives you a reason to get through the work week. It gives you an escape. I would have a harder time coming up with reasons why you shouldn?t like football.
Don?t worry if you don?t know the rules. It?s super easy to learn. All you really need to know is that two teams are playing against each other. You want your team to score more points than the other team; easy enough. When everyone gets up and cheers, let out a holler and slap some high fives. When your buddies start cursing, just start insulting the referee?s mother drop an F bomb. It?s that simple. If you?re still hesitant, head over to a nearby sports bar this Sunday and you will see what I am talking about.